Palmer Rodak & Associates
Palmer Rodak & Associates
Certified Family Law Specialists State Bar of California Board of Legal SpecializationServing your Community for 19 Years
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Parenting after divorce

You've succeeded. You survived your divorce and are ready to move on in life. As a parent, one of your main concerns likely has to do with creating a new lifestyle in keeping with your children's best interests.

If you are currently facing issues regarding your future parenting plan and what you and your former spouse's individual roles will be, you may want to keep the following in mind:

Your children are watching

As you likely already know, your children watch you very closely and are always listening to what you say, even when you think they're not. That said, in order to help them adjust to living with only one parent at a time, you can take one or more of the following steps:

  • Speak in positive terms: Bad mouthing your former spouse in front of your children may backfire in a big way. Even if you have valid issues with which you are concerned, it may be best to choose your words carefully when speaking in front of your children.
  • Cooperation is contagious: If your children see that you are willing to cooperate and compromise, they may be more willing to do so as well.
  • Children are not immune to stress: With ample amount of love and care, your children will no doubt move forward to a bright and successful future. Children are resilient. However, it may help to remember that your children are not immune to anxiety or stress, and if they see you upset all the time, they may become worried.

The court is an advocate of children. Typically, a judge will make decisions that provide children lots of quality time with both parents, unless extenuating circumstances suggest this would not be healthy for them. You know what is best for your children and may reach out for support to ensure that your voice is heard.

Seeking support on shared parenting issues

Especially if you have spent the years of your marriage at home full time, building a financially stable future for yourself and your children may be challenging. The last thing you need at this time is to argue with your former spouse over any form of child custody issues, such as who gets the kids for Christmas or how much support is needed to help pay for corrective lenses or braces.

When emotions run high and contentious issues arise, you can seek assistance in the following ways:

  • Speak to a trusted family member or friend who has been through similar experiences.
  • Keep a journal. It often helps to write down your thoughts.
  • Retain the help of a skilled negotiator to seek solutions to shared parenting problems.

Many family law attorneys are also experienced mediators. By allowing an attorney to act on your behalf, you may be able to obtain swift and amicable solutions to your current child-related problems.

Divorce need not keep you from being a good parent. With appropriate guidance and support, you can address your children's temporal needs while planning for their happy and successful futures.

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Palmer Rodak & Associates
Certified Family Law Specialists State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization

Del Mar Office
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Del Mar, CA 92014

Phone: 858-356-4568
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