Can I Get a Divorce Without Hurting My Kids?

When you decide to file for a divorce, there are many thoughts that are racing through your mind. If you have children, more than half of those thoughts about what the divorce process will do to your kids.

It’s not uncommon for parents to worry about how a divorce will impact their child’s quality of life and their future once the marriage is over. One way you can avoid hurting your children during your divorce is by focusing on how you can keep conflict low and emotions in checks during some of the more difficult parts of the process. A mediated divorce may be the perfect solution for parents hoping to focus on a kid focused, low conflict divorce. Divorce experts have examined the ways alternative divorce solutions help families transition into their new lives with minimal conflict and strain on familial bonds.

What is a Mediated Divorce?

A mediated divorce gives couples the opportunity to negotiate their divorce settlement in a neutral third-party location with a mediator to oversee the process. Litigated divorces involve a more conflictual negotiation and usually involve a judge and lawyers, but when couples choose mediation, they usually only need a judge to approve their settlement agreement. Mediation works by guiding couples through the topics of they will need to negotiate to finalize their divorce agreement. The mediator will guide the couple through easy and fast topics and help them navigate the more challenging ones. Mediation has been shown to help couples divorce in a more amicable manner, and while there are many benefits to a mediated divorce, it’s not for everyone. It can be difficult to work with a spouse you plan to divorce, and when negotiations become heated, it can be difficult to continue if spouses are noncommunicative.

Four Reasons a Mediated Divorce Can Protect Your Children

Divorce mediation is a great way to terminate a marriage if you can get through the work, but it’s not for every couple. If you and your spouse have a strained relationship, a mediated divorce may be out of the question. However, for parents, it’s one of the best ways to dissolve your marriage without your children being caught in the crossfire.

Here are 3 ways mediated divorces protect children:

By Protecting the Coparenting Relationship: The parental relationship is important, even in divorce. Once you and your spouse are no longer married and you become coparents, you will need to work together for the good of your children. If your divorce ruined what was left of the relationship between you and your ex, then coparenting will be a challenge and your child will suffer. It’s to everyone’s benefit that you protect the relationship between you and your divorcing spouse. Just because you are divorcing, it doesn’t mean you have to hate one another.

By Keeping Conflict Low: Divorce can be an emotional experience, and you and your spouse can go from hatred to resentment in a manner of moments if the topic moves into unfriendly territory. A mediator can help you and your divorcing spouse gently approach the sensitive issues and reach a compromises while keeping the conflict manageable and low. Keeping conflict low can help you and your future coparent stir clear of angry exchanges in front of your children and from allowing divorce anger to bubble over into interactions with your soon to be ex while your kids are present.

Try to find common ground: When you’re getting a divorce, it can feel like there’s a gulf between you and spouse. Finding common ground can feel impossible. When working with a mediator, they can guide you to early quick wins that help solidify you and your estranged spouse’s ability to find common ground and work together when it’s necessary. Your children are the big winners when you and your spouse can learn to communicate, negotiate, and find compromises. Coparenting will require joint decision making and the ability to work as a team when needed. A mediated divorce can solidify these skills rather than destroy your ability to work together.

At Palmer Rodak & Associates, our attorneys can review the details of your case and help develop a strategy that gets you where you want to be. Call us today at (760) 573-2223 to schedule a consultation.