Custody, Mediation and Parenting PlansPalmer Rodak & Associates Introduction:Whether you and your spouse or significant other are just now separating, are currently involved in a heated custody dispute, or are already divorced but regularly disagree when it comes to issues regarding your shared children, you should be aware of the newest way to solve custody issues. This new way of solving custody cases involves a concept called ‘Parenting Plans.”The courts of California are strongly encouraging parents to enter into a Parenting Plan” agreement concerning custody of their children. What is a ‘Parenting Plan’?”A Parenting Plan is an agreement between the parties on how they are going to cooperate in raising their children. A plan can be as specific or flexible as the parties require to implement their agreement. Parenting Plans and parenting by agreement:In California, when parents can effectively cooperate with one another, the courts will generally allow the parents agreements regarding custody to become the order of the court. Often times the parties. or their attorneys, may submit the Parenting Plan to the court and the court will adopt the Parenting Plan as the custody order without the parties ever having to go to court. Parents are free to create a plan that will work for their individual situation, but a plan should include a few basic areas. First, a Parenting Plan should include basic details governing the decision making process, residential agreements, and parenting time. In addition, the plan should address how child related expenses will be handled and what arrangement has been made by the parties for child support or expense sharing. It is the duty of the court to ensure that the children are being adequately provided for by the parents. The court will evaluate the financial arrangement to make sure that the children’s needs are being financially met by the parties agreement. If there is a question as to what is the appropriate amount of child support, California law helps by providing a statutory guideline to determine the amount of Child support that should be paid. This guideline is based on the income of the parties and how much time each spends with the children. Any California family attorney should have a computer program which calculates the amount of support that would be ordered paid by the court if the case went to trial. What is joint custody? Physical and legal custody:The term joint custody,” which may also be referred to as “shared parenting,” is used rather loosely at times and can mean several different things. The courts in California break down the term “custody” into “legal custody” and “physical custody.” Legal custody means that the parent has the decision making authority to take actions for the health, safety, and welfare of the children. The courts in California, under extraordinary circumstances, will issue the order that the parents are to have “joint legal custody.” Physical custody refers to the amount of residential time that each of the parents have the children living in their home. The parties may have joint physical custody, which means that they equally share residential time, or in a situation where the children spend more than fifty percent of their time living with one parent, that parent will have primary physical custody and the other parent will have a visitation percentage. The legal jargon of the traditional custody cases is not as important as the actual time shared with the children. It is important to remember that child support is directly effected by the amount of time that children are in the care of each parent, not in the type of custody the parties have. It is useful to have an attorney or a qualified mediator to assist you with plan development, but the ultimate goal of a parenting plan is to encourage the parents to reach their own agreement regarding the best way to raise their children with minimal court involvement. The greatest benefit of this method may be that, by taking the custody decisions out of an adversarial arenas and moving it into a child-focused, cooperative environment, the parties can work towards a mutually satisfactory resolution. Rather than focusing on the other parents weakness, as the adversarial process seems to foster, this process allows each parent to consider the other’s strengths and how their combined strengths can best be allocated to meet the developmental needs of their children. In the long term, this consensus building process helps to diffuse hostility and sets the tone for healthier future relationships between the parents. Ultimately, parents who go this route may develop the very communication skills they will need to effectively and cooperatively parent throughout the lives of their children. Why would you want a parenting plan?Why would you want to attempt joint custody or shared parenting with your former spouse? Isn’t the point of this divorce to put your relationship in the past? Sometimes the biggest shock to divorcing parents is realizing that coding their marital relationship does not end their relationship as parents. Indeed, you do not stop being a family upon divorce; you just become a different kind of family as apposed to the traditional nuclear family. Although you can slice it and dice it, most family functions will continue into the future. Moreover, while there are a few former spouses who, for good reason. should never be within a block of each other, most parents will find occasions to be in the same room together, including confirmations, graduations, birthdays, bar mitzvah, and weddings, just to name a few. There are many other occasions where the other parent’s presence may not only be something to tolerate, but will provide a necessary sense of support and relief, such as in the case of a serious illness of one of the children. These facts alone should make you realize that a cooperative co-parenting partnership may actually be a desirable goal for which to strive. If the above does not convince you, then perhaps you will be moved by the opportunity to promote your children’s emotional welfare. The best interests of children are met when parents work together in performing responsibilities of raising children. Studies have shown that parents who parent cooperatively and without conflict, both within and outside the marital circle, raise children with fewer emotional problems. Moreover, children can survive divorce. More difficult to survive is chronic, long-term conflict between parents. Research has shown that the degree and strength of parental conflict is the most important factor in children’s post-divorce adjustment. The good news about divorce, the news often hidden by the media, is that children who grow up in a peaceful environment, with two caring cooperative parents, can be well adjusted kids even when living in two separate homes. A well-drafted parenting plan can help you achieve this cooperative partnership with your former spouse. Conclusion:Whatever decision you and your spouse reach, it is important to recognize that all forms of shared parenting will require some amount of interaction between parents. Given this fact, it is wise to have experienced legal counsel assist you in developing a process or method for resolving the inevitable disputes that will arise in the future. It is also important to remember that no court can force you and your ex-spouse to cooperate. This much remain a goal for you personally strive. It is a worthy goal: the more you and your spouse strive for mutual agreement, the better your children will adjust to the divorce, both now and in the years to come. By Matthew E. Palmer Firm's Experience: Mr. Palmer and Ms. Rodak have extensive experience in family law. We help family law clients work out a parenting plan, or a parenting plan proposal, and are available for individual counseling or mediation involving both parties. |
